i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
