If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
