Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
