No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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