3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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