so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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