just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it's great music for shaving your balls
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
