You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
