Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
be right there i have to get my cape
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
