I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
