brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
