plz talk dirty to me
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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