Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
