i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
