Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
