try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Randomize