tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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