I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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