took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
