i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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