It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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