I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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