And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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