After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
