Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize