I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
