Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
