i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
