he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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