My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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