the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
