I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize