i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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