i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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