did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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