she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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