We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It's Friday. Sex?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Randomize
