btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
