You just made me feel so damn special
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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