normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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