Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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