Don't you send me to vm
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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