we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
