I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
