The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
