we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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