Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
