is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
