So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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