Me. At least after what I've been through.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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