drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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