just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
