he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
