Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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