No, you can still breathe under the balls.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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