do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
