I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it's not cheating when I paid for it
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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