i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
