why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
