we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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