jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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