If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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