ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
