Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize