Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she told me i tasted like america
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
