Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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