can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
