You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
