we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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