He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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