i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
