He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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