I should be sponsored by Trojan
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
