in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize